How are you doing? How are you faring what they call ‘the silly season’ over here in England? I have been away for a lot of this month and arrived back in London at a different pace, slower, more mellow, and have been witnessing the somewhat manic energy around me on the tubes and streets of London with more detachment than usual. I want to stand on a soap-box and say, ‘slow down world! Take a pause. It’s beautiful outside, can you see that big full bright moon out there?’
For a moment this letter here is my soap-box so please bear with me as I write what's been brewing in my brain...
Did you see the moon last night? It was magnificent. And in its honour I had a little ritual last night to remember what matters most in my life. Sometimes I can tie myself up in knots of plans and thoughts, all the should’s and should not's, and I lose the ground beneath my feet, forget how lucky I am, forget to show the most important people in my life that I love them. Every day I try to put the brakes on, and remember to remember. But I often forget. Especially when I am in a swirl of stress and detests. In flickering candle-light it felt good to recall my inner self, that me that is unchanging and strong no matter what comes along.
In the middle of the winter, with the long dark nights, the street lamps create light puddles on my pavement, the trees are stripped naked, brazenly shaking their branches at me. There’s something so tender in their bare-ness. Why do we need to put tacky tinsel all over them (aren't they embarrassed by that, I would be!)? Can we not simply honour these black nights and barrentrees? What are we running away from when we rush down the streets buying knick-knacks for family members who end up giving them to Oxfam in their next spring clean?
What if we just called up someone we haven’t spoken to for a while and said, hey, I think you’re great and I love you? What if we connected more deeply and intimately with those we love over dinner, we shared our deep dark secrets and fears with our nearest (those who are going to be there for us when life gets tough and we need someone’s arms around us)? Like the trees, can we be bold in showing our raw strong selves, without all our leaves and flowers?
These are the questions that have been with me this moment. Contemplations that I hope to take me through the remainder of the silly season. I hope to be more present, even in the challenging moments and meet those fears those doubts about myself and others, gently yet firmly. Listening to other people’s wants and needs whilst not forgetting who I am and what I want and need. And finding a cohesive way to communicate and share space.
What are your hopes at this pivotal time of the year, where dream-time darkness invades our days? I suggest you grab a journal and jot it down, or speak it out loud to someone close to you. Something magic happens when we articulate our desires out loud. I know it sounds woo-woo but I do believe that the universe responds to these whispers.
Thank you for hearing me, for indulging me, for reading all my rants and rambles this year. I am so grateful to each of you and hope we can continue to meet one way or another in the upcoming year. (I’ll be back teaching in early January, you can see my schedule over here plus I have a very special charity fundraiser on the 12th Jan, and if you are dreaming of new adventures in the spring check out the exciting Bali retreat here.)
Feel free to get in touch with any questions or reflections.