I feel that itch, that ache, that pain and strain that pulses painfully in my heart. Like something someone is pulling at the strings in my heart but I don’t know who or what it is.
And then, and then I hear the voices, the cacophony of mean. And I know it’s time, it’s time to get out of the nest and move on.
There was a point in my life where I fought against happiness. I did everything I could do be in self destruct mode. And it got so dark and painful that I gave up on that quest and ran away, I ran to light bright shiny places with laughing smiling faces.
Because the dark is intoxicating, beautiful and wild but it hurts, it burns. And when we have been in those big bright flames of chaos we don’t always want to go back do we?
But what we forget is that it was in that fire that we rose flaming phoenix through the ashes. It’s where we were tested, initiated and became the winged bird. Fiercer, stronger, wiser than ever.
So why is it that on those icky painful days, where the sadness starts to descend that I get afraid? Surely I should know that it is on these days that it is the growth spurt, the push, the urge to fly that's rising...
We label it many things, but when I feel the darkness descend all I know is that it is time to do the soul work. To get out my notebooks and pens, to write, to create, to dance, to be in nature, to explore the world around me again.
If life were a mountain we climb sometimes it is up and sometimes it is down. We don’t need to push those uncomfortable feelings away, but stare right into them, and dive straight through to the other side. I used to think tension was a bad thing, but have learnt to view it as bubbling gurgling building up creative potential, waiting for the right place to spring to.
That itch, that desire, looking to find an outlet - not to be suppressed, ignored or numbed away.
Let your tension guide you, show you that you are needing to shift and transmute energy, to express something from deep within that catapults you into your great potential and power.