I am (as usual these days) curled up at home with my cat, seeking out patches of sunshine wherever we can. I am immensely relieved that this winter has passed, this has been a pretty challenging one for me on many levels. Pregnancy for my body-mind has not been easy and a lot of my beliefs about myself and the world around me have been seriously tested. It’s been a wild weird and wonderful journey (one in which I barely left the house). I am certain that who I am and what I do in this world shall be deeply transformed by this experience. Perhaps I shall share more about this process of unraveling another time, but the words aren't quite there for me yet.
As a person who studies and works with the body, it has been fascinating to learn and live through what a woman’s body goes through whilst making a baby (we are amazing!), as well as how tiny humans evolve. Recently I have felt the baby moving inside of me, it really brought home to me the fact that the first way we all communicated with our mothers was via movement. Movement truly is our first language! It is how we first learnt about the world around us - touching, feeling and reaching into the space around us. The attitude of playful curiosity and discovery is something I have been encouraging myself and others to cultivate on the mat, taking us back to those initial movement patterns that helped shape us. Even before life outside of the womb impacted us, we were busy forming our understanding of the world by poking and prodding our mother's insides!
There is so much more that I am learning that I hope to share in more detail some-day but I'm not ready at the moment. Part of what I have realised recently is while this baby moves around a lot, I personally need to get more still and be very quiet - to listen, to prepare, to rest and create a nest. Therefore I have decided to take a break from teaching for a little while. I have let go of all public classes (for now) but may return to cover here and there if it feels right in the next few months. This was not an easy decision for me to make, I really resisted it as I love my classes and wanted to keep going throughout my pregnancy. However my body tells me that this is definitely the right choice and so I shall practice what I teach and listen to what she says.
I plan to still write the occasional muse-letter as this real-life yoga journey continuously unfolds. Meanwhile, I send regards from my little nest. Do stay in touch, I love to receive news from the outside world.